After an hour or so of just sitting and thinking, I fired up my laptop and began writing my thoughts. The page was titled, Along Came Hell. I hope to find it sometime this week so I can share what was going through my mind because I don't really remember I know that I felt angry those first couple days, then I went numb.
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Several weeks passed before I began learning about all the behind-the-scene activity that had taken place before the family meeting in our home. As I began hearing bits and pieces of information, the picture became more and more clear as did the realization that God had been more involved that I had realized. Two years later, when I finally agreed to see a therapist, I shared the whole story, as I knew it. She was amazed how it all unfolded. Situations like ours just don't happen like ours did. Here is what I mean.
A couple weeks into January, 2008, my daughter sat down with her girls for a talk. For some time, she had felt uncomfortable about the attention her dad gave the girls. She had said nothing to me about her fears for the same I reason I had said nothing to her about my fears--she didn't want to plant doubts in my mind, especially if there was no truth to her feelings. Anyway, the answers she got to questions she asked were not what she wanted to hear. Her fears were confirmed and she was devastated.
"It doesn't usually happen like that." Children usually keep the secret between themselves and their molester secret. They have been told not to tell and they don't. Well, in our case, the truth was told and it was believed.
After everything was under control at home, mainly herself, she called a brother and went to see him. She poured out her heart to him. He than called another brother. They talked with each other and with other grand-kids. Then, after they knew that at least two girls had been molested, he called his dad and asked him to come over.
On this particular afternoon, each of us was oblivious to the ax that was ready to fall. I was at home in a recliner watching TV. Six weeks of physical therapy and absolutely no work were the doctor's orders for a pinched nerve in my neck. So, my husband went merrily off to see his son. Within minutes of his arrival, he knew his secret was no longer secret. I didn't find out for a week. I remained in oblivion. How? I don't know.
So, the confrontation took place and the second "it doesn't usually happen like that" took place. My husband admitted he had inappropriately touched some granddaughters! From my understanding, when people who molest children are questioned, accused, or backed into a corner, they never admit they did anything wrong. My husband confessed his guilt.
Even though he had allowed himself to be lured into the depths of hell itself, and was no longer hearing the Holy Spirit very well, he had not yet become deaf to it. This will become more clear later.
The next days, all our adult children were together. The boys spent hours with their dad, asking him hard questions about everything from pornography, to victims, to affairs, to...I don't know what. I wasn't there. I was probably at physical therapy or in my chair being entertained by TV. I still had no clue what was going on. I didn't even know our out-of-town kids were now in-town kids.
The time the boys spent with their dad was the third "it doesn't happen that way" event. During their walks and talks, their dad revealed many things. He was listening to their questions and telling as much as he either dared or was able to dig out of a sin-sick soul. Although he didn't fully comprehend the seriousness of what was going on, he didn't deny he was in big trouble. He didn't recant his admission of guilt nor, did he run. "It doesn't usually happen that way.
The next "it doesn't usually happen that way" was the fateful night I finally learned the truth. With the family gathered together, there was much talking, questioning, explaining, back pedaling, and periods of silence. One of these silences was broken by a son saying to his dad, "Dad, you need to resign from your leadership position at the church and in________, a Christian organization he belonged to. You also need to turn yourself in. The family is reporting you to the Sheriff's Office tomorrow."
My husband had all sorts of reasons he thought he couldn't resign from his responsibilities. He was in charge of several important activities. He would resign in a few weeks. "No, Dad. You have to do it this weekend. You are no longer spiritually qualified or able to lead."
"I can't. There is no one to fill in for me."
"Dad, you have no choice."
The evening ended with the same gal who told Papa what it was like to be molested saying to us, "Satan would love to use this to destroy our family, but God will use it for good."
No, it doesn't usually happen this way. God had prepared every step of the way and opened every door we were to walk through. As much as it hurt to walk through them, His presence was felt.
Because of length, I have divided this account into two parts. Part 2 will be posted tomorrow.
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