Perseverance

Perseverance isn't one of my strengths.  I don't like going through a lot of hassle to get things done.  I don't like calling an institution then having to push #2, then #5, then my 20 digit account number just to make a simple inquiry.  Then comes the wait, supposedly made enjoyable by music which quite often is a bad recording that keeps breaking up. And the incessant recorded voice that interrupts the music to remind me that my business is important to them annoys me . Oh yes, my conversation, if there will ever one, may be recorded.  And then there are the times I finally hear a human voice that takes my information and transfers me to someone else who is not available, or whose phone is never connected to mine.  If my time on hold exceeds a couple minutes I want to give up, hang up, throw up, throw in the towel, or as I did a couple years ago, cry.  No, perseverance isn't one of my strengths, but I'm working on it.

Perseverance is what I love about both cross country and track seasons.  The teenage athletes work hard training in mostly rainy weather, and often with minor aches and pains, but they persevere and cheer each other on. There is one young man in particular who inspires me.  He will never win a race unless he is the only runner.  Early in his career he walked most of the 3 mile cross country course, but he finished the race.  This year he still finished his races, but he no longer finished last.

In a recent 3600 meter race this young man, along with his team mates, ran in terrible weather.  The temperature hovered in the 30s, an icy wind blew off the water, and the rain  poured down.  That wasn't the worst of it.  Half way through the race it began to hail.  It wasn't large hail, just little popcorn kernel sized hail, but it didn't deter the kids. The hail finally stopped, but the rain kept going, and so did our runners.  Finally everyone had crossed the finish line and were wrapped in blankets--everyone that is but our persevering runner.  He still had two laps to go. He continued going and going and going.  He couldn't get any wetter because he was already soaked.  Then, on the final turn going into the final stretch he lost a shoe, but he kept running at his steady pace with his eyes on that finish line and listening to the cheers of his team mates and the crowd. He had run the course. He had finished the race and done it well.

Watching this race reminded of the past few years. I had anticipated my race to be a golden-summer run with my husband: years of travel, spur of the moment excursions, walks by the river or on the beach, outings with grand kids, and family picnics, camping trips and barbecues.  It began that way, then turned into a dark,cold, winter race filled with disbelief that my husband had molested our granddaughters. Rain came as I struggled to make sense of it all, and to face people I knew.  Then came the hail that pelted me with financial decisions that I should not have to be making.  It felt that not only was I losing my shoes along the way, I was also running naked for the world to see. So many times I wanted to run away, leave the track, and hide in the safety of the woods. This is not the race I had signed up for, and it isn't over yet.

Thankfully I do not run alone.  My entire family is in the same race.  We do not compete against one another, we hold each other up.  Do we care who comes in first?  No.  We just want everyone to finish the race and finish well.  In addition, we have cheering, clapping, and praying fans in the form of friends and church families who keep us encouraged. Oh, did I mention we also have an awesome coach who always has encouraging words, supportive words, nourishment at the ready, AND who runs with us.  High-five coach Jesus.

 I think I am several laps behind the rest of my family.  I don't know that for sure. No one is counting. I just keep running. I think I can see the finish line of this particular race.  The once icy wind is now merely a cool breeze.  The rain is just a mist, and the hail is gone.  I do know that I will run in many more races in the years ahead. I don't want another one like this one though. But, if there is, it too will help develop perseverance which, as James says in his letter, leads to a greater maturity in my faith.  I need both of them, perseverance and maturity.