Spring Up, Oh Well

Today I am letting you read a letter I wrote to my pastor yesterday. His sermon, from beginning to end, spoke to me about my journey through my anniversary weekend. For those of you who have read my last few posts, you will get a recap that will tie everything together.

Sunday blessings, Pastor,

The opening words of your sermon today summed up my week beautifully. You said something about the Lord providing everything we needed to get us through tough times. The rest of your message supplied additional insights into the ways God has worked in my life the past four days.

Thursday--I was feeling sad, disappointed, angry and every other emotion possible as my 50 wedding anniversary rapidly approached. As I expressed my sad, teary, poor-me state in my blog that day, I closed off with a prayer of confession, a plea for forgiveness for myself and the ability to forgive as He forgives, a request for a heart to love as He loves, and the ability to weep tears of thankfulness, praise, and awe instead of anger, loss, and resentment. I felt better.

Friday morning--I was more joy-filled than the previous day, yet still sad. Once again I wrote about my emotional tug-of-war. I told of trying to explain anniversaries away as man made events that benefit only the florists, restaurant owners, and jewelers, but that didn't work. I ended my blog by thanking God for his faithfulness, grace and mercy during the 50 years following the day my husband and I stood before him and made our wedding vows. Happy Anniversary, Lord.

Friday night--During the Root Beer Float women's event, I sat at a table decorated with a strewn-about, messy streamer and un-inflated balloons. I hadn't realized that  the table I had chosen represented the ugly floats we women sometimes ride in our parade of life. I shared with the ladies that I had been riding on an ugly float the past few days instead of the anniversary float I had dreamed of, the one decorated with flowers and sporting a beautiful cake that my husband and I would cut as a crowd of family and friends cheered and celebrated. As I shared my struggle from self pity to praise that  the Lord was taking me through, I kept looking at the table in front of me. Between sharing and looking, I slowly realized that everything needed to make my table beautiful was sitting there waiting to be used. If I inflated the balloons and draped the streamer, my table could become as beautiful as the other two tables in the room. 

Saturday--Once more I wrote for my blog. In it I told of Friday night's revelation, then I proceeded to decorate my ugly float with memories and blessings that the Lord bestowed during Gary's and my years of marriage, our personal lives and spiritual journeys, and the lives of our children. The ugly float slowly became beautiful.

As you said this morning, a well of Living Water is in each one of us. In faith, we just need to call it up. That is exactly what happened to me over the course of the past few days. I called out, He sprang up and began helping me decorate my float by watering my dry and thirsty soul. As a result, my days changed from awful to awe-filled. That sounds quite similar to another sermon I heard recently.

Spring up, oh well.

With thankfulness and love,

Jeannette