Actions and Reactions

Don't try to write a blog while lying on your back, deep in thought, with your eyes closed because when you next open your eyes it will be an hour later, you still don't know what you're are going to write, and your laptop screen will still be blank.

Please don't ask me how I know, but oh that nap was nice.
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I woke up this morning around...who knows what time it was.  I don't have a clock in my bedroom and my cell phone was on the dresser.  The main thing for me is the fact that I woke up.  From the amount of light in the room I figured it was around 6-6:30.  Since there was no sign of sunshine, it could have been 8 o'clock and extremely cloudy for all I knew.

I laid there for a long time. I thought about important things. I dozed off. I thought about more important things. I dozed off again.  The sun came out. I stayed in bed.

I wanted to cry.  Why?

I didn't want to go to church.  Why?

I didn't want to go on vacation in a week. Why?

Who knows the answer to the whys of life? I never would have asked myself why a couple years ago.That was B.T. (before therapy) Obviously, I do now. I do ask myself the whys, but don't always stick around to find the answers.

Anyway, I did get up.  It was 7:30 according to the clock in the bathroom.

I didn't cry. Why? I no longer felt like it.

I did go to church. Why? I wanted to.

I will go on vacation even though I will probably fight it all the way to the airport.  But why fight a trip to Maui with my kids?  I need to find the answer to that question.

Now, back to church. Our youth pastor preached on John 5 about pruning and abiding. His sermon was good, but here is the word God spoke loudly and clearly to me today. I heard it not only through the sermon, but also through a missions testimony. It was a reminder I needed to hear once again.

My actions sometimes reveal that I am trying (by myself) to please God, but my reactions always reveal if I am letting (with the Spirit's help) God change me. 

Thank you Lord, I'm glad I went to church today.