After more than a year in therapy learning to get in touch with my emotions, I just spent the past month refusing to face the emotions that today would bring. I didn't want to think about the upcoming separation, so I didn't. This may seem silly to some, but others will understand what I am talking about. Ready?
My hair stylist just fixed my hair for the very last time. Once every six weeks for 35 years we have met and she has transform a disheveled, shabby me into a chic, classic new me. Now, after all those years of trimming me up, changing styles as my hair has gotten grayer and thinner, and occasionally waxing my brows and chin she is moving away. Having to find someone else to do my hair isn't the problem because my appointments weren't just about getting my hair done. They were about developing a friendship. As we got to know each other, we began sharing the ups and downs of rearing kids, playing with grand-kids, and taking vacations. We shared hurts and joys, hopes and dreams. We not only encouraged and rejoiced with each other, we also shared our faith. Today we said goodbye and tried to hold back tears. I'll miss her.
Although we never did lunch, went to coffee, called, or sent texts, we were friends, better friends than I had realized until I started thinking about her leaving. As friends always do, we told each other we would keep in touch. Will we? I hope so. But life has a way of interfering with the best laid plans. She and her husband are opening a Bread and Breakfast with her sisters and their families. They are excited. I am spending more and more time writing, not leaving my chair for hours on end. I am excited. New adventures lay ahead for each of us. Neither of us knows what the future holds, but pray for the best for each other. Our Lord has plans.
Not wanting to feel loss again, but I do,
Jan
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