My Bucket List

How many of us have made bucket lists? Not I.  It seems like anyone who is anyone has such a list, so I thought I had better get busy if I want to be someone, which I'm not sure I do.  Anyway, here is my bucket list.  I am putting it together as I sit here trying to think. That's not easy when I've had only a few sips of coffee.  Oh!  I'm not drinking coffee today am I?  I had some yesterday. Let me see now, buckets...

• Four plastic 5 gallon buckets with handles and lids--in garage
• Two plastic 5 gallon buckets, handle-less, lidless, cracked--next to garbage can
• Two plastic 5 gallon buckets, with handles, lidless, filled with weeds and rain water--on the far side of the garage
• Six plastic 5 gallon buckets, handle-less, lidless, filled with junk from various projects--on far side of garage.
• Two blue antique milk buckets, rusted bottoms, used as planters--on front porch
• Two white decorative buckets, 2 inches tall, containing hair bands and clips--on my dresser
• One galvanized decorative bucket, 2 inches tall, containing misc. buttons, screws, and a water gun--on my kitchen window sill

And there you have it, my bucket list, and I haven't kicked any of them yet. Actually, I do need to kick a few buckets--kick them right out of here, into the trailer, and take them off to the dump.  That will be the first item on my real bucket list when I get around to making one. Wait, that is not a bucket list item.  Scratch that out and put it on my To-do list. There, I've accomplished something today. I started a to-do list.

Seriously, though, I have never made a bucket list, a life goals list, or a wish list. About the only lists I make are titled Grocery and To-do. Ask any of my kids and they will tell you I even have a difficult time coming up with a Christmas list. I guess I learned at an early age that if I didn't desire, hope, dream, wish, or want, I wouldn't be disappointed. Sadly, as a result, I have denied myself seeking the things God desired for me, then seeing him bring them about.

Mark Batterson's book The Circle Maker is an excellent resource on this topic.  Throughout his ministry he sought God's dreams for him and the goals to reach them.  Even though most of them are humanly impossible, they are from God for whom all things are possible.  Some were achieved almost immediately while others may not be achieved for years. The wonderful part is seeing God bring his plans to fruition through Batterson's diligent prayer and fasting.

After finishing the book last night, I truly feel I need to seek God in this area.  First off, I need to let myself dream dreams, than see if they line up with God's plan.  That will take work on my part. Just dreaming will be something new for me, but seeking God and listening for his voice, his guidance, and his wisdom is much more than the so called "arrow" prayer I pray so often.

In the recesses of my mind are two dreams I have kept at bay for several years. I believe they are part of God's plan for me. I have taken baby steps towards them. This blog is one teetering baby step, but self doubt tends to keep me back. I know it is a spiritual battle that needs to be fought more diligently.  In spite of encouragement and affirmation from family and friends, I wonder if it's God's time for me to move forward.  The thing is, God can't use me if I don't move forward.  But if I do move forward when it isn't his time, what then? Well, the worse thing that can happen is doors will be closed and he will continue preparing me until it is the right time.  

So, friends, here is the beginning of my bucket, life goal, dream list.

• Take old, useless buckets to the dump  (move to To-do list)
• Write a book
• Speak to women's groups

Now I will prayerfully develop a time line, seek promises in scripture, circle them all in prayer and move as God helps me set goals to attain the my dreams.  My first goal is to submit a story I have written to Guidepost by the middle of July. The piece is finished.  I've been sitting on it for over a month.  I need to act. I can do this. Oh yes, for clarification, July 2012.  


The first promise I am circling is from James 1:5-8   "If anyone lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives abundantly to all, without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt. For he who doubts is like the wave on the sea, tossed and blown by the wind. That person must not think he will receive anything from the Lord, for he is a double-minded man and unstable in all he does."

Oh Lord, let me not doubt.

jansjournal@hotmail.com