My Dream of Food

I didn't go to bed until 1 a.m. Don't ask me why. There is no logical reason. I just didn't. As 6:30 a.m. rolled around, I looked at the clock and rolled myself over just to see if I could get a bit more sleep. The next thing I knew I was waking from a crazy dream and looking at a clock that said 8:45! How did I manage that? It has been years since I slept more than an hour after my usual 6:30 a.m. greet-the-day stretch.

So now I've eaten my breakfast of a poached egg, toast and orange juice, checked out Facebook, read the local news online, and thought about all the things I could do today. I've listened to what I hope are birds on the roof over my bedroom. Something is rat-a-tatting up there. I'm thankful I no longer have shake shingles. At least I know the rat-a-tatter isn't finding any insects up there.

I am now trying to figure what I will write about. For "inspiration" I have Bibi the Amazon Gray Parrot talking in the background, I love that live broadcast. She is on a roll this morning. She and her owner have been having quite the conversation. Kellie asks questions and Bibi responds. Then Bibi asks questions and Kellie responds. But most of the time Bibi asks the questions and answers them too.This is what she is saying right now.

"What's your favorite? Strawberry. What shape? Circle. Goin' to go bye-bye. I'll miss you. Want to take a shower? What's your favorite song? Strawberry. What you cooking? Tomato Soup. You're so sweet. Drink your water. An almond, good stuff. How many berries? One, two berry. One, two, three, four, five....... seven?."

On and on Bibi goes. My thinking is also going on and on, but keeps coming back to my seemingly nonsensical dream this morning. Then it retrieves some of the first dreams I remembered after my husbands confession of molesting our granddaughters. Here are three.

ONE

I was walking out to the mailbox when some person in a car handed me a dirty, tattered package. I took it into the house and placed in on the kitchen table where one of my daughters-in-law was talking to my husband. As I turned away, there was an enormous explosion that blew me through a backdoor. After my head cleared, I got up and found myself covered from head to toe in stinking, slimy, filthy water and mud.

No explanation necessary. As a side note, this daughter-in-law was the one who told my husband what it was like to be molested, leading to him saying to me, "What have I done?"

TWO

I was standing on the bank of a river with many other people watching a hot-air balloon that had several people in the connected basket. All of a sudden, something was going wrong. The metal strips that held the basket to the balloon were coming undone and hanging down. Then people started falling out and landing in the river. As the other people screamed and ran to the river, men with boards on their feet walked on the water to retrieve the people, I just stood there and tried to figure out what had happened. Why had the hot-air balloon's basket connections failed? How did it happen? And who were the men with wood on their feet?

I tried explaining my feelings in this dream to my therapist. I had not felt panic, fear, or any concern for the people while this disaster took place before my eyes. I was just trying to figure everything out. None of it made sense to me. I just stood there confused about the basket failure. As I learned and understood over the next months, I had completely shut down emotionally. 

THREE

 Note: I am one of those people who feel keeping her photo albums up to date is important. I love the artsy part of album making.

I was at a retreat for scrap-bookers and checking out an album page that I had previously completed. It had beautiful floral-patterned paper as a background, I was now going to create the facing page so was trying the find the matching background paper. I looked through my assortment of papers. Nothing matched. I looked through my friends' papers. Nothing. It wasn't even available in the catalog. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't come up with duplicate paper. I was almost in tears because I couldn't duplicate what I had previously created.

My interpretation?  Life as I had known it, would never be the same.

Those three dreams, plus a couple others, all came within weeks of each other. They were vivid and clearly remembered. I know I had other dreams after that, but couldn't remember them when I awoke. But through the dreams I did remember, I feel God was showing me: how the surprise attack had made me feel, filthy; that I had shut down toward the world around me, and was trying to make sense of the circumstances by over analyzing everything. I had to let God handle the situation while I pay attention to the people around me; and that I was trying to make my life today looks like my life yesterday. It couldn't be done.

These dreams played an important part in my healing process and my moving on.

 And now my crazy dream this morning.

I am at some sort of recognition luncheon or dinner for foster parents or something of the sort dealing with adults and kids. The room is full of tables, people, and plates of food. I am at the back of a buffet line. Some gentleman is behind me. I have no idea who he is. Anyway, I get my plate and look to see what kind of delicious salads are awaiting me. There aren't any. I then look for the meats--chicken, ribs, ham, roast beef? Nope, nothing. As I make a 90 degree turn at the corner, the man behind me says, "This is my favorite food" as a food server  plops what looks like an uncooked pancake with green peas in it onto his plate. I consider his remark and let her plop some on my plate too. Yuck.

The next section is desserts. There are huge servings of cake--all types of cakes. I hesitate, decide it would be uncouth to cut one in half, then move on. Thinking I must have missed something, I go around the loop of buffet tables again. Maybe more food has been brought out. Nope, nothing. I finally poke my head into the kitchen and ask if they have a green salad of some sort. "No," the cook replies. "Salads are just for salt free diets." Sadly, I was stuck with only some pea filled goop on my plate and a desire for a half piece of cake.

Upon waking I wondered what in the world that all meant, if anything? I don't think it has any deep spiritual meanings. At least I don't see them now. But here are some things I thought about.

* I have been eating way too many sweets and carbohydrates lately, and not enough salads.

*I didn't have much dinner last night. It might not be a good idea to go to bed somewhat hungry.

*I watched a cooking show before going to bed.  Barbecued ribs and baked beans. Bring them on.

* I should watch my salt intake a little better. 

*Don't hang out at the end of the line.

*Don't take the culinary advice of strange gentlemen.

*Or maybe the pea concoction was the start of a chicken pot pie.

Now that I am finished, I might have written about the three dreams before. If I did, I'm sure this is an entirely different approach to them. As for today'a dream, check out tomorrows post. I am seeing some deeper meanings. At least I think I am.

I'm off to check out my freezer. I know I have a whole chicken, some chicken broth, and, oh yes, some frosted brownies

 Letting the Lord speak through my dreams,
Jan