Well, folks, I've done it again--jumped into the deep end of the pool. Only this time I may have weights around my ankles. After finishing up my Beginning Writers class this morning, I immediately checked out other classes that could refine my writing and fine tune my grammar. As of this afternoon, I am now enrolled in two classes that started a couple weeks ago.
The first lessons of Grammar Refresher weren't that difficult. They were excellent practices in the use of apostrophes, understanding homophones, subjects and predicates, and recognizing parts of speech. It made me realize what great English teachers I had in high school. I have now caught up on all four assignments, and am free until Tuesday.
Basic Writing has the same instructor I had for Beginning Writers. I have read through the first lesson, taken the quiz, but not done the exercises. That is tomorrow's activity. So, I will be doing some free writing while trying to keep my inner critic at bay. I think I have said it before, but I will say it again. I want to edit and re-edit sentences as I write them instead of writing freely and letting the thoughts flow. Write first, edit later.
This free writing idea is almost completely foreign when applied to walking with the Lord. I can't go around doing whatever comes to mind, or saying whatever I think or feel, than edit my actions and words later. Each decision I make, action I take, and word I say must be checked out first by my inner critic, the Holy Spirit. Editing poor decisions after the fact cannot erase harm that might have been done. Even my mind must be reigned in when it begins going astray. Fears need to be recognized and fought off. The list goes on. Thankfully, when practiced regularly, the correct actions become part of who I am, but there are still times poor choices sneak out.
Unfortunately, I have another inner critic. This is the one I need to tune out instead of listen to. This one succeeds too often in preventing the freedom and desires I feel in my spirit from being expressed outwardly. I hesitate jumping with abandon into a swimming pool when there is no reason to remain in the lounge chair. I hesitate walking into a wind storm to experience its power as it tries to blow me over, or into a rain storm to feel the pelting rain on my face. Sometimes I really want to act crazy and run (walk would be more accurate) through mud puddles, but that inner critic whispers to me, "What will people think? What if you fall? What if, why, who..."
I know the Holy Spirit in me can do more than edit my actions and reactions before they are accomplished. He can also shut out/up the enemy's voice. Who knows, when the rains come again the neighbors might see me puddle jumping.
That reminds me of a time fifteen years ago when my toddler granddaughter stood looking out the door at the pouring rain. She let her mother know, in no uncertain terms, she wanted her clothes off so she could go outside. Mom obliged. That excited, little, naked girl ran outside, turned around a few time in the downpour, and made a beeline back to the house. "Cold," was her only response as an ear to ear grin filled her excited face. She had, in those few seconds, experienced a freedom and excitement many of us deny ourselves. At least I do.
I think singing, walking, or even dancing in the rain would be wonderful ways to celebrate the Lord. My inner critic is editing out the nudity part. I think I know which critic it is, but I might be wrong.
Keeping my eyes open for puddles to splash in,
Jan, Licorice Kitty, and family
The kittens found their way out from under the bed this evening. As Licorice bathed them all, they batted at her and at each other. Playtime is starting. I have to get serious about finding a new place for them. I think the playroom can be kitten proofed.
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